The Anticipation of Adoption
I dislike being pregnant. A lot. After two natural-born kids, pregnancy is a period of my life marred with severe depression and a turbulent marriage. Never in my time do I feel more alone than when there is a thriving human being inside my uterus.
However, we love kids. Our kids bring us a great deal of joy and raising them has to be one of life’s greatest experiences. Sure, it’s full of sleepless nights and an incredible amount of stress, but it’s all worth it. Coming from a relatively small family of four (parents, sister), I have always wanted a large family. I’ve always also wanted to adopt. Jon wants more kids too, and recognizes how pregnancy affects me, so slowly but surely, the idea of adoption has won him over.
We recently finished the PRIDE training offered by Ontario. I didn’t even know there were kids to adopt locally, but there are! So why not? I don’t care where the kid comes from or who the kid is, we just want a kid. I find it odd that I have to specify whether we would be open to kids with disabilities (not something you choose when you are pregnant), but it makes sense: those kids may need resources and time that you may not have. For now, Jon and I have ruled out severe disabilities as we both recognize that we don’t have the training, capacity, or even the maturity to handle that. Some people do because they have to, but if the option to not to, we would rather not.
We are almost wrapped up our homestudy…so now comes some serious anticipation. The birth mother will look through our adoption profile book and make a life-changing decision. We are so excited and nervous at the same time. Will she like our family? Will she believe that we will raise her kid as our own? How long will it take our child to adjust? How long will it take us? What kind of battles await us?
I am apprehensive about what will happen with the extended family. Some of the reactions genuinely surprised me. Comments such as “it’s never the same as your own” or “you won’t know what’ll be wrong with it” or “it’ll have serious issues.”
I didn’t expect that of a Christian. I don’t understand what they expect to happen? First, theyare vehemently against abortion. Then against social assistance. And then while they like the idea of adoption…anyone but them should do it. What? Who is going to do it if not you? *We* are the body of Christ. *We* should be extending our arms. *We* should be showing love. Not our next door neighbor. That’s not how it works.