On why I need God

What is God?
A force, a healer. God is not my friend (just like gravity is not), but he is just there. God doesn’t need me, but I do need God.

Why do you believe in God?
Because I need to. I would be really screwed up without him. No really, I would.

What about heaven/hell?
Don’t care. Will worry about it when it’s a problem. For now, I am here, and I got to get by. Even if it’s something I must think about “now”, I just don’t have the mental capacity to do so. Moot point. Fear of hell is not something I entertain.

What about this devil stuff?
What about it? I believe in a negative force (“the devil”). We are saved (and I don’t mean salvation) by believing in God.

What about Jesus?
Maybe God sends messengers to share some light with us? Maybe he has sent many messengers. Maybe he still is sending these messengers. Jesus is one of these messengers. I don’t particularly care for his “Son of God” thing. It as irrelevant to me as the virgin birth.

Why, why do you need God? There are happy, content atheists/agnostics/{put word here} all over the world?
Because I am different then them. I tried this atheist thing, but not out of lack of belief, because I was angry with God. I had been betrayed so inexcusably, and this ‘God’ hadn’t taken care of me. I was angry. It’s been shoved down your throat that bad things happen to those God doesn’t love; so if something bad happened to you, it’s your fault. Wow. Way to make sure that an 8 year old victim of child abuse is completely screwed up.

I tried going back to religion, but left it each time because religions tend to indicate that God loves us, takes care of us, yada yada. Well, ya know what, there are hundreds of young folks being sold into sexual slavery RIGHT NOW, and God sure as heck isn’t doing anything about them. If he can write the Universe to indicate that two people make a human being, he couldn’t write the universe to indicate that people can’t be sold into slavery? Don’t tell me about this omnipresent, omnipotent, God when there is clear proof, for me, that there is NO SUCH THING.

But what is there is a very beautiful force, a force to give you strength when you need it. A force to help you rise. A force to help you find the battle against cruel realities in this world. And that’s God. God gives us the strength to make the improbable happen.

And THAT, THAT I absolutely need. I go to Church not to hear sermons on how Jesus died for my sins and I am saved, etc…but, instead, to reinforce that strength. There is beauty in every religion (and in my opinion, the devil has managed to slip in every religion too), and I seek that beauty. Is that the right thing to do? Probably not. But I don’t care.